Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Well seldome update my blog...no time...since tmr is merdeka soooo keke got sum time to update it..:P
Today its bout emotion.....my personal emotions..my feelings now... well this few days when 'she' is in hk...i pray every morning...i wake up earlier than every1 uz to pray...hehe actually praying in da morning its better...soooo my mum won ask so much...y da sudden pray... normally i uz pray in my room..facing east...but i wanted to hav serious pray this time...i went downstairs to da....ermzz.. wut u cal tat??kekek da praying thingy la...i opened it..lid da candles and start praying...for 20 minutes..uz for her safety in hk..i cant see her or msg her...sooo i juz pray nhope everything will b fine in hk...praying helps me alot..it calms me...saves my life....half of it but nt all...at least it helps...or i will be soooo emotional tis few days...
lately my feelings torwards her is getting stronger...everyday i pass tru her hse or juz hav a glance of her car from far its ggood enough then i will think bout da good times d...it sumtimes make me sad n yet it puts a smle on my face..but lately i m kinda sad thou..coz.. i really donno wut is on her mind...msg her she din reply me...but then i receive a call from her at 3.30am..i really donno wut is her intentions but i prefer to wait...i won wan to rush it...she needs time...n tat is wut i m gonna ggive...anyway...3.30am reminds me of the time when we r still together...she usually get sic n i will call her at 3.30 juz to wake her up to take panadol...i reallly care for her..but i donno does she feel da same way...i wan her to noe how i feel ...by writing tis blog... i hope she can see it and understand..:P
i'd really miss her soooo much...:P
lots of luv..
~~Wae Lern~~
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Today i donno wut happen...all of a sudden i fell pain in me...its not painfull but its bugging me...its hard to describe this feeling...but i knoe how to cure it....but its hard to do so....its actually my heart...i really feel it inside me....cant get ride of it!! how??! i wan to get rid of it...it really bugs me....either god come n make me for get bout her...take everything away or she fill in the peices in my heart...i reallly cant go on...this pain make me pissed...stresss....feel like killing...its hard to overcome!!plsss i cant let it go!!! i cant let go of her!!! she is the 1...of all ppl y her??! i donno!! keep on asking myself...she is not perfect...y wit her?? she is juz normal.. y wit her?? Y!!!??? its hard..!!! being wit her eventhough she is normal or not perfect...but when we are together is like we juz connect the cabel to brighten the world....its hardto describe...i m feeling the pain rite now!! its hard to overcome T.T....when i m wit her..she makes me feel complete, safe, perfect and undescribable feelings!! First Cut is just the DEEPEST!!!!
u cant juz let go...!! not like u think u can...its like u juz murder sumbody...it juz keeps haunting u until u bring him bak!! but tat won happen!!!! i wan her bak...i luv her.... she is da 1....i don see it b4....but i see it now....ppl juz don knoe how to appreciate sumthing until its really gone..!! i m sooooo ARGHHHH!!! its hard!!! plssss!!! heal it!!! i cant go tru life like this...she is my motivation!!!.... the pain.......
i m sooooo soreee sylvia!!! soooo sooo sooo soreee...!!
soree might not cure it...but its da onli word tat can help me in my vocabulary....
~~Wae Lern~~
To me love is just a normal feeling that every single living things have in side of them. Love is also something that can kill, hurt, and can cause many more drastic things and also at the same time take control of us. Men argue for just 3 reasons, in every argument there is only 3 main things that is love, power, and wealth. That’s what they argue most about all the time. But love is the most common causes of arguments. Love also gives us joy and happiness. Every mans life dreams is to get the love of their life, they always seek for perfection all the time but once they found their perfection, it doesn’t seems perfect anymore. Perfect is what everybody wants but when they get it they will not appreciate it at all, and yet they take it for granted. At the end of the day, when they lose everything they start to blame everybody and not themselves. I found a wonderful girl in my life 3 months ago, I thought that she is just a normal girl in my life and I think that I can take her for granted. I did but at the same time I also felt love but I dint appreciate it at all. At the end of the day, both of us end up being singles again, she is very hurt, I can tell because I am the one that breaks her heart, I decided to let go, because I just thought that she is just an ordinary girl in my life, and I feel that I can hunt for better girls, I got more choices. But then suddenly I can’t let go I can’t stop thinking about her I really can’t let go, everything just isn’t the same anymore. The girl that I thought was normal and simple was actually perfect to me! But I take things for granted and this is what I gain, lost, stranded, no guidance, and worst of all alone, people start to lose trust in me, my reputation drops but that doesn’t matter, the thing I regretted most is that I LET GO!! That is the worst thin that I‘ve experience in my life. I thought I can easily go back to her…..but I can’t… I can’t anymore. Now I can’t do anything anymore, just have to wait for an angel to give me the perfect guide lines in life. I wan to change and forget about the past and move on in life. Wait for the next girl to come in to my life and never ever take risk again and never take things for granted anymore. That is what I promise myself to do, from now to the day I enter the grave. All I just want to say to her is “sorry” that’s all just this 1 word and hope everything can be change. And till today..(22/8/2005) I still love her with all my heart!! i would really wan everything to go bak the way it was n i will make sure the mistake i made b4 will nvr happen again!! I swear to GOD!!! let him b my witness
~~Wae Lern~~
u17ima73_sa99hir3@hotmail.com
