SapphirE BlueS: love? feelings ??
Friday, September 30, 2005
「 EnjoyzZ 4:14 PM 」


actually i was gonna sleep soon d..its actually 1 o'clock d now...but sumthing juz hit me all of a sudden. its about love in me. i just visit sylvia's blog, she overcome her past already but why can't i do the same. Lik Yung says opportunity is given to me, angels are by my side providing girls to me, letting me choose, i got Sharon, Regina, Amelia, Jeslyn, Sheue Yng and Hui Yueng ... i got so many choices but i don't dare to start, its rigt infront of me,Lik yung ask me what i wish for.. i said i wan happiness and i don't want the past to haunt me again, sylvia can easily overcome it, now she is already interested with another guy. me? i clearly got so many in front of me but i don't dare to take the first step, Sharon is crazy over me now, i worry if she keeps it up i will hurt her, my deepest fear is to hurt a girl, i don't want it to happen, people says its normal to hurt, but to me its just not right to do so. i wont feel good if i hurt someone, the feeling is bitter. people says "the door of opportunity only opens once" but what opportunity it will lead us to? It could be happiness and sadness. Inside of me now is hungry for love, I m desperate. but inside of me also holding me back, saying "is she the right 1?" other side saying "she is your neoghbour, u like her n u can see her everyday if u wan" other side saying again " what if u hurt her? sylvia is also ur neighbour...look at the conclusion of the story.. do u wan it to happen?" there is this crazy conversation in my head talking, thats why all of a sudden i change fro mhappy to angry in a *snape* soo what am i suppose to do. i think i am not ready for a relationship. When i have 1, i wont know what to do, its like i am playing the female part in the relationship, i don't know what am i suppose to do, will i offend her if i do this or i do that? its weird. i worry most now is sharon, is he hurt? i don't know. drop some advice to me please. i am so puzzled!! its hard to control. Hui Yueng tells me this "Friends forever...but you don hear relationship forever? right? it doesn't rimes" its meaningful. maybe for now friends will do. i m not ready. follow my dad's advice.." treat every girl good and when the time is right, u can easily pick the right one straight away" :P
this is what you get for screwing up your past!!

lots of luv,

~~ Wae Lern ~~