SapphirE BlueS: feelings?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
「 EnjoyzZ 11:09 PM 」


Confession

most of the times i am really blur~ and i think i really offend u thet other day~ or mayb i m just thinking too much~

the previous me is like this, when i go for a gal~ i am always, always ready for rejection, coz i got other girls in mind, like if u reject me, its ok~ i got another target~ things happen soo fast b4~ and yet also ended equally as fast~ b4 this i can rather say i m kinda like a jerk to alot of ppl~
ppl end up giving me names~ having real bad reputations among some friends~ and they end up talking behind my back, and i call them hypocrites, going against them, blaming them for everything~ but come to think of it~ the reason why these things happen is because of my actions, these are the kind of examples i set infront of them, in a way i have a very very very strong defense machanism. defending myself all the time eventhou it is my faults, causing major probs to others, loosing myself, complaining that the world is at fault but it actually lies on me. I judge everybody, always talking bad stuff at their backs? i think, i keep saying that they are goood ppl all the time~ eventhou its behind their backs~ because i believe in karma. what goes around comes around. i m doing it for my own benefits. its kinda selfish but i would like u to know all this, well not only you but to everyone that visits this blog.

and because of me meeting u now~ there is no other girl~ i got no plans or what so ever, i m no longer that 17 year old childish guy~ that take things for granted. you are my motive and my insparation, my final target. there is no one else, but u.

i always say " i must always practise what i preace" true i do, but most of the time i dont, what u guys see its just the outer me, u din see the inner me. i m always trying to be a better person but end up being a real jerk. now i don even know who i am.

hmmm, i m not that good, but everything u know about me is true, what i tell u its true about me, but there are equally as many things i have, that u din know.

i will change now and will not let this kinda of actions happen again! all the things i say bout my attitudes will go after this post! and i sincerely hope to be accepted by u~ ^^
this is my confession and hope that u will change ur point of view towards me.

Wae Lern