SapphirE BlueS: sadness
Thursday, September 06, 2007
「 EnjoyzZ 6:29 PM 」


Tears fall day by day knowing that we are no longer together.

the shocking truth, me no longer in a relationship due to some cercumstances we are force to be apart. because of that, day by day i develope hatret in myself for not capable of doing a thing to prevent it. at first i tot i finally can rest, can chill, have a gf, go on with my life happily showering her with my love, but now i can no longer do that. how? typing this message here hurt sooo badly.
I know i will still see her in campus, still have the same class with her, still be able to go out with her, but it can never be the same as before. i still can't imagine that i am living in such a life, dad told me, this is the real world, try to deal with it. the real world is sooo challenging, i seriously don't know what to do. I miss her soo badly, i want to talk to her but afraid i might loose my temper. i m trying to be as optimistic as possible. IT WORKS for like an hour~ n i m bak to normal. sigh
if i can talk to god, i would like to know why do i deserve this kind of treatment? why is it me?

what did i do sooo badly to receive this kind of treatment. i had 4 ex. 4!!! i tot its over! no more! now another one is added to the list. 5. i m soo dissapointed in myself. why must i keep on suffering? am i suppose to love? or never? to be with someone i can hold if i m having a tough day? someone to understand my every actions.

trying sooo hard to make this work, then snap* just like that seperated. oh my god~ i seriously feel like just not haing emotions in myself, just to prevent myself for getting hurt for sooo many times.

to my friends, if u guys thing i did something soo wrong to u to deserve this, let me know, i will make sure i will make it up to u!
nobody deserve to be this sad or lonely. why me?

Wae Lern