Sunday, September 30, 2007
i wonder if one day i disappear what will happen, really wonder what will seriously happen.
Wae Lern
Friday, September 28, 2007
i shall have proper english! one morning, bla bla bla~ ><
OkOk, yesterday i went ot the Royal Melbourne Show with sis n friends!! had a great time there! ehhe got great company~ ^__^
one of the ride gets me thinking. went i was up there, oh my god, it feeels like am dying! seriously! i actually tot i was going to die, it was soo scary, then and i just think about you, the ride makes me feel something, the fear of it is like the fear of loosing you. i am quite down with my current situation, and i am fighting day by day to be fine. just would like you to know that~
Wae Lern
Thursday, September 27, 2007
clubbing~ not for me~ zzzzzzz =.=
Wae Lern
Saturday, September 22, 2007
life is soo special aye? i met a guy who was talking about life and death, holy ghost, and answering one's prayer, where will we go when we die. It bugs me about it when they say those words.
Life is a journey that we humans take, we choose where to go, where to live, what to do, and who to be with. He also mention that we will go to a place after we die to meet your whole entire family and live there internally. i mean, if its that way, there will be alot of relatives there. in a way i am not convince by it.
if there is such place after death, people that are convince wont hesitate to die. I myself, I am fear of death. Death to me is loosing everyone that is close to me. that is not how i would like to live.
Why we live he ask, my answer was, we humans are given, one life, one chance to make a different to this world. when we live, we make the best out of it and change people's life, mind set, make the world a better place and finally find love.
The way i look at life is, you only got this chance once, live it to the fullest.
When you kiss someone, did you know it the last kiss you will ever get from that other person? you would expect to kiss the other time, but finally the kiss WAS the last kiss. how would you feel? how would you deal with it later on? regret? that you didn't give them your best?
Do everything like you are doing it the last time, by doing so, you would at least have a smile on your face when that day come, saying "they didn't miss anything about me, i did my best, i didn't miss a thing. and most of all, no regrets.
Thats how you should live your life.
Wae Lern
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
when times are bad, you just wish u can put ur probs aside and take a rest....
how i wish i can go bak to my group of friends bak in msia~
eheh talk with jit, kenneth, daniel, amanda, ming, yun, pei wen, eugene.
soo much tension now, i just wanna hang out with them, they make me feeel soo hommy. sighh! how i wish i can spend a day with them ^__^
Wae Lern
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Your hesitation WILL be ur downfall
u will falll and u will be crush realllll bad!
do a fucking thing about it!
p/s = note to myself~ its not to anyone in particular~
Wae Lern
Thursday, September 13, 2007
hehe, i just burst my feeelings here!
erm, today i wanted to try something new~ since hui san gt no class~i won b seeing her in uni or anywhere, sooo i shall keep my phone!!
"i shall not call her, see how things go~ hehe can tahan or not~"
"phone credit dying~wtf~ >< "
sooo morning~
bzbz
woke up at 8~ wtf!!! get ready~ went to uni~
accounts class at 9
btw~ kim, u did great! ahah, just lack of confidence in ur presentation, but cheer up! u did good!
don think she even noe this blog existed.
then
went to da gym! at 10
to 11.30, push push push, did shoulders today~ hmmm awsome, awsomely painful! god!!
11.30 lunch!! 12 rush to money and capital lecture!
2 hour class, snoozing 1st hour, day dreaming 2nd hour!
whole day gt stomach upset! screw it! yesterday too! grrrrrR
walk home after class reach bak at around 2.30. lepak for awhile~ watch some anime, play da psp~
the entire morning was sooo bz~ so i can like, don worry bout her, i think she will sleep too ler~ too around 12? or later~ >< (don kill me for saying this!)
ok, bak to da story, me able to not think about it.
after gaming, started to think alot! crap!! went to bed! sleeep at 3.30!! don wan to thinkkkkkkk
thennnnnn, woke up at 7~ zzzz (pig)
makan dinner, nicholas came over, sis cook! great food... then thoughts start poping up! urgh!
soo! wut to do next? i leave my phone in da room! stay away from it!! don seee! then SMTOWN gt new song! yay! mind off it again~ then come bak~ grrrrr
funnny nyaaa
then i decided to blog~ chat with lik yung for a few mins~ then blog~ lik yung gambateh for assignment! get ur bloody ass to melb!
sooo in conclusion!
me really love you, u are the person that will always be in my mind! comforting and supporting, however, i have a battle to fight with myself, and a war to prepare in the coming future! hehe! ^^ go WAE LERN! GO
btw ppl, me not becoming a lunatic~
me just really deeply in love with Goh Hui San~ ^3^
Wae Lern
Sunday, September 09, 2007
hmmm, the situation so far, still da same~ we are officially friends, we really can't don anything.
i can't do anything, so can't she.
therefore, i have to move on, bt i don wan to loose this feeling inside of me.
I trully love her soo much to the extend where i m being very selfish.
but....
i have wars to fight. 2 of them.
one is against myself. fight! excel! prove them ALL WRONG. cheer up! live life to the fullest~ humans only live once! u miss this chance~ its alll gone!
2nd is against "him", he might won the battle! I M NOT loosing the WAR. will show u tat!
no fear,
no hesitation,
no regret,
no surprises
no doubt
dedicate your LIFE to something
be flexible
owe alot to you, Richard Templar.
thx to alot of my friends for being there~ some i don even expect to know they know~
anyway, thx alot! helps alot~
"treat it as a blessing in disguish" very meaningful. thxx u noe who u r ^^
Wae Lern
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Tears fall day by day knowing that we are no longer together.
the shocking truth, me no longer in a relationship due to some cercumstances we are force to be apart. because of that, day by day i develope hatret in myself for not capable of doing a thing to prevent it. at first i tot i finally can rest, can chill, have a gf, go on with my life happily showering her with my love, but now i can no longer do that. how? typing this message here hurt sooo badly.
I know i will still see her in campus, still have the same class with her, still be able to go out with her, but it can never be the same as before. i still can't imagine that i am living in such a life, dad told me, this is the real world, try to deal with it. the real world is sooo challenging, i seriously don't know what to do. I miss her soo badly, i want to talk to her but afraid i might loose my temper. i m trying to be as optimistic as possible. IT WORKS for like an hour~ n i m bak to normal. sigh
if i can talk to god, i would like to know why do i deserve this kind of treatment? why is it me?
what did i do sooo badly to receive this kind of treatment. i had 4 ex. 4!!! i tot its over! no more! now another one is added to the list. 5. i m soo dissapointed in myself. why must i keep on suffering? am i suppose to love? or never? to be with someone i can hold if i m having a tough day? someone to understand my every actions.
trying sooo hard to make this work, then snap* just like that seperated. oh my god~ i seriously feel like just not haing emotions in myself, just to prevent myself for getting hurt for sooo many times.
to my friends, if u guys thing i did something soo wrong to u to deserve this, let me know, i will make sure i will make it up to u!
nobody deserve to be this sad or lonely. why me?
Wae Lern
Monday, September 03, 2007
I M LOST
Wae Lern
